Links Mentioned in This Episode:

Thai Hut Tuesdays: 30 Years of Friendship, Family, and Life Lessons

The Resilient Writers Radio Show: Interview with Robert Boyle and Joe Cimenti – Full Episode Transcript

Intro:

Well, hey there, Writer. Welcome to The Resilient Writers Radio Show. I'm your host, Rhonda Douglas. And this is the podcast for writers who want to create and sustain a writing life they love. 

Because let's face it, the writing life has its ups and downs, and we want to not just write, but also to be able to enjoy the process so that we'll spend more time with our butt-in-chair getting those words on the page. 

This podcast is for writers who love books and everything that goes into the making of them. For writers who want to learn and grow in their craft and improve their writing skills. Writers who want to finish their books and get them out into the world so their ideal readers can enjoy them. Writers who want to spend more time in that flow state. 

Writers who want to connect with other writers to celebrate and be in community, in this crazy roller coaster ride, we call the writing life. We are resilient writers. We're writing for the rest of our lives and we're having a good time doing it. So welcome, Writer. I'm so glad you're here. Let's jump right into today's show.

Rhonda:

Well, hey there, Writer. Welcome back to another episode of The Resilient Writers Radio Show. I'm excited today to be talking with uh Robert Boyle and Joe Cimenti. um And they have written a book called Thai Hut Tuesdays. And it's a collection of stories, but it kind of goes beyond that to be a testament to the transformative potential of human connection and the significance of community. So welcome Bob and Joe. Tell me how this book came about. Like, how did you even decide that this was something you wanted to do?

Joe:
Bob, you want me to hop in?

Bob:

I would love for you to start, Joe.

Joe:

Bob and I have known each other for a long time, um probably going on 30 years now. And um in my previous job, I did a lot of leadership and sales training. And Bob was a perfect complement to those trainings given his psychology background. And we trained hundreds of sales people from actually around the world, managers. We traveled a little bit.

Um, and I, and I'll do the abridge version. And so one day we just decided that maybe we should write a book about what we do in our lives and, and, you know, experiences we could share, um, focus on being good storytellers. And the book started around somewhere around 2006, somewhere in there. Um, I'll speak for myself, not Bob. I'm, I'm a slow mover in these things.

So we worked on the book for and we did one iteration after another and finally we settled on where we are that this should just be stories about our lives and experiences we've had as parents, experience we've had raising children, experiences we've had in our professions and all the other nuances that come with daily life. And the title came from uh a restaurant that we go to on a regular basis.

Um, every Tuesday, if we can make it. And there's a bunch of, we've come in all ages. I'm probably the oldest. I think now he's probably the youngest when he shows up. He's in his late thirties and we just share our life experiences.

Rhonda:

Okay. That sounds cool. So, um, 2006, so a slow, a slow process, as you say, um, Joe, but I think like, I think a lot of writers can relate to that. Right there, there certainly are some writers who write a book a year or a couple of books a year, but it's more common for writers to write a book over a lengthy period of time. 

So you said there were several iterations of the book. Did you always know that you wanted the book to be a collection of stories or were you trying to make it something else first?

Joe:

Well, uh go ahead, Bobbie. Don't want to, don't, okay, no, no.

Bob:

Well, one of the reasons we focused on stories was that the consistent feedback that both Joe and I received in doing the leadership trainings that we did is that people appreciated and actually remembered the stories. May not have remembered our bullet points, but they certainly remembered the stories that we told that illustrated those points.

So um that you know, that was a pretty big insight, I think, for both of us about what people were taking away and in what form they were taking it away in. And so, you know, we thought at that point, maybe we should put together sort of the best of these stories. And that would be an effective way to communicate the things we wanted to communicate. So that led to that focus on stories.

And when we were both working, I was in private practice as a psychologist and Joe was an executive in corporate America. We were both busy in our professional lives. We were busy in our personal lives. Both of us have four children. We're now four adults and multiple grandchildren. uh So at the beginning we thought we wanted to really focus on uh on businesses since we were doing a lot of training with businesses.

And it, you know, I don't think when we started out that we were planning on taking 10 plus years to write the book. It's just that that's the way it evolved in terms of we, hung onto the idea that we wanted to do this for a long time. Oftentimes around the first of the year that we're, we're in right now, we, kind of recommit to, Hey, this is the year we're going to take it a little bit further.

But we stuck with it, I think, because it was something, the idea of doing this was very uh present in both our minds that we wanted to do this, that we wanted to be able to communicate in a way that was larger than just the audience in front of us at the time. And that led to us finally, you know, putting the finishing touches on it in the last iteration and working with our book coach Meg Calvin to help us do that. So.

Rhonda:

Yeah, that was Meg Calvin who's been on the podcast before. So yeah, Meg is great. So who do you see as the ideal reader for this book? Like, you know, the book is on a shelf in a bookstore, someone's gonna go in and pick it up. Who do you ideally think this book is for? Did you think about that while you were writing it? Like, was that something you were considering?

Joe:

Yeah, I would say we...We were, as Bob said, we were trying to figure out where it fit. And it started out as a leadership book. Um, it started out with a spiritual bent and we just, we wanted to find really what was the most astounding message we could deliver to people. And it was, we, we both, as Bob mentioned, we both raised four children. Um, we both had children in our forties. Um, so there's a lot of experience that goes on and, and his kids and my kids are very active.

So there's a lot of child experiences that we dealt with. So to answer your question, who would read it? I probably young adults, certainly young fathers or mothers, people who can appreciate what it's like to be a parent, to be a member of your community, to be responsible for bills and for working. I mean, think it's, we wanted to make it like that, that it's a kind of book.

And the analogy we use is like, we're Chicken Soup for the Soul meets Nate Bargatze. So it's supposed to have some emotional feel to it, but it's also supposed to be fun because let's face it, so many of our experiences in life, at some point in time, we realize they're common. Maybe in the moment they're not as funny, but as we look back and reflect on them, you know, there's a lot of humor. And I think that's really helpful for people to get through the daily grinds of life.

Rhonda:
Yeah, I think any parent can certainly relate to that statement for sure. um So let me ask you a little bit about collaborating on a book. So there was two of you. Did like one person might run one story and then somebody else write the next one. um How did you give input on each other's pieces? How did you go about doing the collaborative writing piece of this?

Bob:
That was kind of an interesting process and included uh a couple different kinds of things. There were several times where Joe and I purposefully set aside time to get together and write uh on the book. And we were in the same location. We would travel to and spend the night at a hotel and commandeer the uh common area at a Courtyard Marriott and bring our laptops and sit down, write and talk about what we were writing and the whole process as well as maybe catching a bit of a football game that was on the TV.

So there were times where we were together in writing and talking about it. And actually, and I don't know how Joe feels about this, but I thought those times, one, they were just great. I mean, we're good friends, so was great to hang out with one another. And it was a fun, you know, passion project that we worked on together. So those times were usually very productive times.

And there were times that we just wrote on our own that, you know, Joe's at his house, some at my house, some at my office, or he's at his office, and we're putting time in writing our stories. And so it was a combination of those things. And, you know, the stories in the book are stories that Joe wrote half of them and I wrote half of them. and you know, we identify in the book which ones are who's.

So while we wrote those separately and individually, part of the time we were writing while we're in the company of each other and certainly talking about uh the writing and the process and trying to find a way that these stories would fit.

Rhonda:
Did you ever have moments where you disagreed about what should or shouldn't be in the book?

Joe
No, can't ever think of that. We have very different styles and it's really what worked well for us when we did presentations. Bob's very academic and he's got a doctorate and I have some education, but I'm more of a street sales guy. So we really tried to bring our personalities out in the stories that I think was very relatable to people.

The things we discuss is the lesson learned. At the end of every story, we write what the lesson learned, what we learned from this. And we would share those and then we would, you know, collaborate on, yeah, well, why don't you, did you think about this? And, and, cause when I read it, this is what I felt. And we would add those to, to broaden the lesson that people may learn from, from reading this story.

But it was always very interactive. We have different styles, but obviously they're very compatible styles. At least we enjoy reading the book. I don't know if other people do, but we really wrote it because we wanted to. And uh it was a great process for us to do it.

Rhonda:
I love that. Is there anything you learned through the process of writing this book that you didn't know when you went into it? You know, about how books get made, the choices that get made to pull a book together.

Joe:
Well, we didn't know anything about it. And Bob was the one that really did. Again, he's the doctor. He's the one that did some research. That's how we found Meg Calvin. Because we just didn't, you we had good ideas. We liked to write. We certainly liked to story tell. We just didn't know how to put it together. You know, how would we market it? How would we do anything? And really that finding that person who could coach us through it was really very important.

Bob:
Yeah, that was a I just compare with Joe's thoughts. So that was a very important step for us. I think it was the step that really took it from just the ideas and the thoughts on the page to actually, you know, the book materializing. And so and we needed that. We needed some kind of uh push and we needed someone who had a lot more knowledge than we did about that process.

So instead of, you know, spending the rest of our lives trying to learn that ourselves, we thought the really good and effective shortcut is to hire someone who knows and has the experience and can guide us in the ways that we needed to go. So that was very, very helpful.

Rhonda:
Yeah, I love that. I think that often writers put off getting an editor or getting some kind of book coach support, em thinking, oh I need to do everything myself. But it's not true. You can get help from someone who's been there before.

So when you describe the book to me, em was described as bite-sized self-care stories. Why would you describe it in that way? What is it about the book that kind of says, I mean, I get the bite-sized part, but what is it about it that says uh this is something that someone could dive into as a self-care kind of, you know, moment.

Joe:

I think it's, had a conversation with my son, my oldest son, who now has several children. And, you know, obviously you're a father, he's a police officer, so he deals with the stress that goes with that. And he was like, I'm losing my mind. And I said, no, no, you're not. You're not losing your mind. You're just married, raising children and your work. This is what everybody goes through.

And really that's the prevailing message. And we wanted to make the story short because we wanted somebody, maybe when they're just like spinning, just grab it, take you three, four, five minutes to read the story. And you can realize that you're not that much different than everyone else.

Or what may seem like it's overwhelming for you right now is not necessarily that overwhelming. And I think that's really the message we wanted to go out to people who we did.

Rhonda:

Bob, you're the psychologist. Is that what you were thinking? uh

Bob:
Ha ha ha. I was thinking the exact same thing. Joe and I are on the same wavelength. I mean, I think we were thinking that, um, that if people read our stories and, and they felt that commonality that Joe was talking about that, Hey, we're all in the same boat here. We're, we're all trying to live life, negotiate our way through, find the best way through, find a way to maintain our values as we work and raise our families and so forth.

And if we can um save somebody a little bit of heartache or uh they can uh get some insight as to how to go about finding a solution. And you know, the stories aren't all certainly uh the successes that we've had, it's the struggles. It's the times we've made mistakes and what we've learned from those.

Because I think sometimes those are the best learning experiences is when we've done it wrong. And so yeah, we were certainly hoping that people could learn from our mistakes, could learn from our experiences, and they could do that with a smile on their face.

Rhonda:

So since 1993, over 500 million copies of Chicken Soup for the Soul have been sold. Is that your hope? Is this the next great Chicken Soup for the Soul? Is that what you had in mind?

Joe:
From your mouth to God's ears.

Rhonda:

Right.

Joe:

I don't know that we ever thought in those terms. I mean, we really did write this for us. We're both at that semi-retired point in our lives. Our kids are grown, grandkids that are growing up, just looking to try to, I don't know, put all the pieces together.

It's been an interesting journey. And what does that look like when you start to reflect on it? So we're hoping more people read it. We're hoping that we can market it better than we have right now. But really, was never meant to be anything more than an expression of who we are and something that we can share.

Rhonda:
So that's really interesting. think, you know, there are a lot of memoir writers who listen to this show and they're trying to figure out, you know, are my stories important enough to that somebody else is gonna wanna read them? Somebody outside of my set of family and friends is gonna wanna read them.

Did you guys ever have that question going through your head? Like, is anybody else gonna wanna read this? Or were you just thinking you know, as long as we do the work and show up and put it out there, then whatever happens is great.

Bob:
Yeah, I would say the latter. mean, we didn't go uh into this with the idea that we're going to be bestselling authors. We wanted to share something uh with the world. we talked about earlier, the process of doing it was really uh a wonderful one for both Joe and I in terms of uh our own process. uh And we certainly hope that others will read it and enjoy it.

One the best compliments I've had about the book is I have a, I have seven grandchildren and my oldest grandchild is seven and she's very advanced in terms of her reading skills and she's read the book and uh she'll say, oh, Papa, I didn't know that that happened to you or that was funny or whatnot.

And you know, to have my seven-year-old granddaughter read it and enjoy it. I mean, I don't think probably all seven-year-olds would be able to read this book, ah but she did. And it was uh just to know that she got something from it. uh That's meaningful.

Rhonda:
Yeah, absolutely. From my first book launch, I have a photo of my then 15-year-old daughter reading the book. And it's my favorite photo in the entire world. There's definitely some. Yeah, yeah. So. um

You worked with Meg Calvin. Can you tell me a little bit about what that process was like? Did she help you shape the book? Was she commenting on the writing?

Joe:
She was the glue that put it all together. I she's the one that came up with the name. She is such an effervescent human being that she really brought joy to what we were trying to do because it you it becomes tedious and arduous after a while. And you start to question, I really want to even bother doing this?

And she really brought a whole new spirit to it. So much so that my wife um has written a child's book. She started writing it 30 plus years ago and Meg Calvin helped her get that published.

Rhonda:
Oh, I love that. It's contagious. This is great. Yeah.

Joe:

She really was a very strong influence and she was very patient. She's a very patient. I'll speak for myself and obviously my technical skills just trying to get on this. She walked me through everything because I would struggle with how to put all the pieces together. The writing came naturally, but putting it in the right context and putting it in the right format, that was very difficult for me. She did a great job, I think.

Bob:
Yeah, not everybody can work well with two old farts. Right, So there you go. The other thing I was going to say too about working with Meg Calvin is, you know, you have it in your head, you're going to write this book, but there's always those nagging doubts about, you, is that, are you serious? Really? Can you do it? You know?

And I think one of the ways in which she helped me and probably us too, was just the cementing the belief that you can do this. I mean, it's doable. We just needed some guidance and some support and some extra knowledge that we didn't have.

But really having, uh you know, interacting with her and cementing that belief in ourselves that we could do this and that it was right there on the horizon. We just needed to take those few last steps. That was really incredibly important.

Rhonda:
Yeah, I'm sure every writer listening right now can relate because anytime you take on a large project like a book, the self doubt will come up, right? So tell me what, Bob and then Joe, what's your favorite story from the book?

Bob:
Favorite story. Um You want to go first Joe? I'm kind of cataloging and trying to decide and I'm debating with myself.

Joe:

Okay, yeah, the one that jumps out to me is the story titled Sam, I'm Glad You're Here. As I mentioned, I had a child and I have two children in my 40s. And Sam, my youngest was a major surprise to me.

And I have to remind him that he wasn't a mistake. He was just a surprise. And the story centers around my wife, very hesitant to tell me this, because obviously we weren't planning it. We already had three children.

And she comes out to the garage with a very close friend of ours that Bob knows very well, Donna, because she needed emotional support when she told me that we were having another child. And I pull into the driveway coming home from work she comes out and tells me that we're having another child. I put the car in reverse and I swear to you to this day, I was gone for 45 minutes to an hour. I have no idea where. I just had to really put this whole thing together.

The upside of the story is Sam is now 27 years old. He's engaged to be married. He's a reporter for a TV station in Nashville. And I thank God for every moment that I've had with him. And I traveled a lot by the time I retired from that career. Sam was still young enough where I had time with him at home. So it was such a blessing from God that I had that extra time with him.

Rhonda:
Love that. Yeah, I think it would be a big shock to suddenly be a new parent again in your 40s. That would take some it is. Bob, how about you?

Bob:
Yeah, but I mean, the I think the funniest story, I'll just say, has to do with a uh particular collision I had with a cheerleader when I was playing basketball in high school. I'll just leave it at that.

But I think my favorite story is a story that really has to do with my relationship with my wife and how much of a uh godsend her uh appearing in my life after having a failed marriage previously and not believing that I'd be able to, it sounds corny, but trust and love again. So that story really is probably my favorite story because it holds so much personal meaning for me. I'm sure a lot of people can relate.

Rhonda:
Okay. So everyone, this is Thai Hut Tuesdays and it's a collection of stories um basically to help you understand that you're not alone in whatever it is you're going through.

So um we'll put a link in the show notes. And thanks for being here, Bob and Joe. It was great to talk to you.

Bob & Joe:

Our pleasure. for having us. We appreciate it very much.

Outro:

Thanks so much for hanging out with me today and for listening all the way to the end. I hope you enjoyed today's episode of The Resilient Writers Radio Show. While you're here, I would really appreciate it if you'd consider leaving a rating and review of the show. You can do that in whatever app you're using to listen to the show right now, and it just takes a few minutes. 

Your ratings and reviews tell the podcast algorithm gods that yes, this is a great show, definitely recommend it to other writers. And that will help us reach new listeners who might need a boost in their writing lives today as well. So please take a moment and leave a review. I'd really appreciate it. And I promise to read every single one. Thank you so much.